Bennett has developed a bit of a mean streak lately, as evidenced by his latest knock-knock joke:
Him: Knock-knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Him: Knock-knock?
Me: Who’s there?
Him: (suddenly screaming) STOP TALKIN!!!!
Bennett has developed a bit of a mean streak lately, as evidenced by his latest knock-knock joke:
Him: Knock-knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Him: Knock-knock?
Me: Who’s there?
Him: (suddenly screaming) STOP TALKIN!!!!
Its finally here. Today is my first day of school. Everything has been signed, passed and filled out. Now all that’s left to do is figure out where the heck I’m going and try not to throw up. The funny thing is, the rest of the world seems to think that this is a totally normal day!? Like maybe me trying to reactivate my long dormant brain isn’t quite the epic endeavor that I’m making it out to be…..weird.
I start school this Thursday. To say I’m anxious is an understatement. I haven’t had a good night of sleep in weeks. My dreams range from the extremely violent to the extremely absurd, but they always involve someone being out to get me. And now that paranoid feeling is bleeding over into my waking hours. For example:
I’ve had this Bare Naked Ladies song in my head all week:
Get In Line
Everywhere I go someone’s tryin’ to be my girlfriend’s best friend
I’m tryin’ to pretend I’m relaxed but I’m playin’ castanets with my knees
I try to be cool and give her space
But a guy’s always there ready to jump right up and take my place
Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.
Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
If you play along
Everywhere I go there’s someone in a trench coat staring at me
When I’m not at home I’m sure someone’s rummaging through my trash
Whatever could they want from me
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram-shaped rash.
Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
This won’t hurt at all
Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)
Everything will be all right
If you just lay off
Dictate a memo to myself
Try to find if I’m the only one in complete health
Consult contemporaries if there’s some to see
There really isn’t anyone who’s in my league
Every night at elaine’s someone thinks they have to find beyond me
I try to take three deep breaths as I lock and arm my mini-van
Everyone says I’m looking great
But it’s hard to stand-up let alone to try to concentrate
I wish that everyone that I knew hadn’t sold out to the man
Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
This won’t hurt at all
Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)
Everything will be all right
If you just lay
Everything will be all right
If you just lay
Everything will be all right
If you just lay off
The title might suggest that we’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and go to Disney World next month, but that isn’t the case. (A better title if we had decided to go see Mickey might have been “The Ears Have It”…but I digress) About two days into our vacation planning we incurred yet another not fun, unexpected expense. I finally went to the optometrist after neglecting my eyes for about two years. (I did this by making each 1 month pair of contacts last about 3 or 4 months.) So it should come as no great shock that I was told my optic abuse has caused some damage to the inside of my eyelids. The method of damage discovery involved a tiny hook-like instrument that the doctor used to turn my eyelids inside out. I know… EWWWWW!
So $580 later (and yes that’s WITH vision insurance) I have a new kind of contact lens, the first pair of glasses I have owned in 12 years and strict instructions to start giving my poor eyes regular breaks lest I do so much damage that I’ll never be able to wear contacts again. (Oops, my bad.)
When we combined the fact that we are hemorrhaging money with the fact that just about every friend and family member we have lovingly told us we’d be crazy to go to Disney in July, the answer became clear.
We are going to wait until the fall when the weather is cooler, the crowds are smaller and the rates are cheaper. It will involve taking the boys out of preschool for a few days, but with Corbin starting Kindergarten next year it seems like this might be our last year to do something like this. So in the mean time we are looking for a cheap weekend getaway that we can take with my family to break up the oppressive July heat. Any suggestions?
The practical and the impractical sides of my brain are doing battle right now. Our summer beach vacation has been canceled due to the oil spill, so we’ve been scrambling to come up with a plan B. A good friend of ours recommended Disney World. She and her husband took their 2 and 3 year old sons there last year and had an absolute blast.
As crazy as it sounds, we’re seriously considering it.
Because of our school and work schedules, (and the fact that hurricane season is at its height in the fall) it looks like mid-July would be the best time for us to go. So that brings me back to the practical vs. impractical fight that is consuming me right now. My list of pros for going goes like this:
Now my cons list goes like this:
So there you have it. For every pro, I answer myself with a con, and visa versa. Today my gut is saying just go for. Yesterday my gut was saying wait and go in the fall…or late winter. At this rate I’ll probably be looking into Euro Disney by tomorrow!
Thoughts opinions and personal experiences are greatly appreciated! (However we also reserve the right to ignore all words of wisdom and just do whatever the heck we want to…assuming we figure out what that is.)
Aside from the first few months of our relationship, Chris and I have never really been ‘that couple.’ You know, the ones who can’t keep their hands off each other in public. The ones who giggle dopily at one another’s jokes, and take every opportunity to verbally profess their love…
Nope. That’s not really us.
We’re more the couple who bickers so much our friends wonder if we like each other at all. The couple whose idea of flirting involves public humiliation and whose attempts at romance often end in one person shoving a finger up the other one’s nose (ya know, just to ease the tension). And truth be told, we like it this way. When one of us gets irritated with the other, we get it out right then and there before it has a chance to fester. And its not unheard of for us to go from name calling to kissing and back again in under a minute. It may not be a blissful romance worthy of Shakespeare’s primary characters, but its what works for us.
Last night Chris went to sleep early and I sat next to him in bed watching TV. During a commercial I happened to look over at him, and in a moment of uncharacteristic weakness, I was consumed by a feeling of lovey-doveyness. I’m embarrassed to admit that I stared at his sleeping face for a minute or so. I was just marveling at how familiar he has become to me over the past nine years. I was noticing the subtle ways in which his appearance has changed, and wondering how it will continue to change as we grow old together…
But these romantic musings were interrupted when Chris unexpectedly opened his eyes. “Were you just staring lovingly at me?” he groggily asked. “Umm, kind of.” I replied, now feeling really ridiculous. “Oh honey,” he said with a tired smile, “that’s so creepy.” Then he rolled over and went back to sleep. He brought the incident up again today, presumably so that he could finish mocking me now that he was fully alert…
the big jerk.
Anyway, I’ll just tell myself its like what Sir Benedick says to Lady Beatrice after their botched attempt at wooing in Much Ado About Nothing, “Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.” (Well I’m too wise….he’s just too ornery.) So we’re definitely no Hero and Claudio, but I’d like to think Beatrice and Benedick get their version of happily ever after too.
One of our favorite things to do when our Canadian family comes to town is throw a party and smoke a pork shoulder (or butt depending on which cut is larger at Sam’s). This year Chris requested that I pick up something extra for the party – the boys’ first Slip-n-Slide. Corbin was all about it right from the get go,
but Bennett was less than amused.
After a few unsuccessful trips down the tarp, he attempted to escape the perils of the water by climbing up the side of the swing set.
This endeavor proved to be equally unsuccessful.
Oh well Daddy, better luck next year!
A few weekends ago I went to my mother’s house to help her move some furniture. I asked Chris if he would clean the bonus room while I was gone. He took the following picture during the cleaning process:
His caption for this photo is, “I don’t know why she thinks this job is so hard.”
My caption for this photo involves language that’s a bit too colorful for a family friendly blog such as this.