- There are very few people groups for whom I feel genuine contempt.
- Individuals, well sure. But groups, really very few.
- However, first on this terribly short list is a group of people so diabolical, so horribly inconsiderate, so irritatingly selfish in their attempts as self maintenance, that I can barely speak their name without cringing…
- Yes, that’s right. For as long as I can remember I have hated CYCLISTS with a burning fiery passion.
- My sister once dated a guy whose parents owned and operated a bicycle store and were themselves avid cyclists.
- I found this out after I had gone on a five minute tirade about a troop of spandex wearing, engineless egotists who had reduced my speed to a crawl all the way down Hillsboro road.
- Even after the awkward discovery of the young man’s ties to the cycling community, I made no attempts to retract my statements.
- Thankfully the relationship ended soon after.
- One time I saw a cyclist fall off of his bike while he was impatiently weaving in and out of rush hour traffic.
- He wasn’t hurt or anything, but he looked pretty ridiculous lying motionless on the ground with his feet still on the pedals.
- That was a good day.
- Just today a cyclist got me in trouble with my four year old for ‘talking potty talk.’
- Like I had any other choice when some gauntly skinny dude with shaved legs made my trip down Sneed Road take 20 minutes more than it needed to by riding in the exact center of the lane!
- Of course as is the case with most prejudices, there are certain cyclists who are exempt from my rage.
- For example, any cyclist who is operating his ‘vehicle’ on a bike path, in a park or on a wide shoulder of the road is fine by me.
- But the second he impedes the flow of traffic by veering onto any of the narrow winding roads for which Nashville is notorious….HE”S DEAD TO ME!
- I also hate door to door salesmen, but that’s another tirade for another time.
Archive for July, 2010
Engineless Egotists!
Monday, July 26th, 2010On a Lazy Saturday Morning…
Saturday, July 17th, 2010We’ve had a couple of busy weekends in a row. So we are all feeling pretty thankful for an entire day with nothing on the calendar. So far the day has involved a little of this -
Which is a delicious crepe stuffed with grilled onions, bell peppers, artichoke hearts, black olives, pepper jack cheese, and topped with homemade salsa. Chris had the brilliant idea to make crepes because I can’t stomach anything too sweet or greasy in the morning. They were a big hit with the boys as well. Their crepes were filled with peanut butter and jelly and topped with warm syrup.
And a little of that -
This dynamic duo is currently drawing up plans for their daddy’s super hero costume. Apparently his name is going to be Killa-Watt and some sort or lethal light bulb is going to be attached to the top of his head.
Up a Creek
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010Corbin is very into letter sounds lately, which is great because it gives me an opportunity to practice what I’m learning in my balanced literacy course. He has his ‘phonemes’ (individual letter sounds) down, and he is now starting to sound out actual words phonetically. I couldn’t be more proud, especially since the very first word he sounded out was m-o-m. It almost makes up for the fact that he called me daddy for several months when he first learned to talk.
Thankfully, all of his ‘metalinguistic’ progress (thinking about his language) hasn’t stopped him from using certain words completely out of context, and consequently giving us all a good laugh. One of his more commonly misused words these days is ‘recognize.’ As in, “Bennett! Stop recognizing me!” We think he means to say antagonizing, but since he’s not exactly open to correction, its hard to be sure.
Yesterday Corbin came up with my personal favorite when he told me, “I don’t always scratch my bum mom. Its only when my underwear gets stuck up in my creek.” Noting the look of confusion on my face, he turned around, pointed to his backside and announced, “This right here is my creek!”
We’ll put sharing that little quote on the list of things he’ll hold against me when he’s older.
4th Festivities
Thursday, July 8th, 2010We had an amazing long weekend! We went swimming with friends on Friday, to the zoo with friends on Saturday, and to the best pool/pot luck/fireworks/outdoor movie party ever with family and friends on Sunday. Then Chris and I went away to celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary in Asheville NC for a few days. Our actual anniversary isn’t until Saturday but I’m in school all day so we won’t really get to see each other.
Here are some pictures from the long weekend.
No goats were actually kissed in the making of this image.
The twins were kind enough to make room for our boys in their patriotic swagger wagon.
Bennett and his namesake chillaxing in the pool.
Me and my sister, aka – our bartender for the night. Blackberry mojitos…mmmmm!
Benny boogies down with our lovely hosts.
Matt and his lovely wives.
The boys getting ready to watch their daddies try to blow their hands off.
All that was missing from Chris’ sparkler dance was a grass skirt and a coconut bra. (heh. Good luck getting that mental image out of your head.)
The one thing we didn’t get pictures of was something that shall henceforth be referred to as ‘the cupcake incident’. My sister made these amazing red velvet cupcakes for the party, and just as I was taking my first bite her boyfriend Luke (who has been waiting for two months to get me back for a terribly minor incident involving a sippy cup) came up behind me and smashed the cupcake into my face. I then chased him around the pool with my nostrils still full of icing and hurled the remainder of my cupcake square into the middle of his back. Seriously, it was beautiful. If cupcakes were bullets, this would have been a kill shot.
The bad news is that since I chose to retaliate, apparently we are still not even for the original sippy cup indiscretion. So now I have to wait again….and according to my sister, it could go on for years. I have to say, I really like this one, but if he weren’t a fair skinned guy from Florida, I would swear he had mafia connection.
Cruel Joke
Friday, July 2nd, 2010Bennett has developed a bit of a mean streak lately, as evidenced by his latest knock-knock joke:
Him: Knock-knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Him: Knock-knock?
Me: Who’s there?
Him: (suddenly screaming) STOP TALKIN!!!!
Geekery
Friday, July 2nd, 2010- Last night I grabbed a random T-shirt out of Chris’ drawer to sleep in. This morning I woke up and realized I was wearing his “Be nice to me or I’ll sic my ninja monkey’s on you,” shirt.
- On a related note, as of this month we’ve been together for 9 years and married for 6.
- I guess some things were bound to rub off on me eventually.
- I’ve been trying to obey my optometrist’s orders and wear my glasses instead of my contacts at least one day a week.
- Ever the verbal affirmer, Chris has taken to calling me a hot librarian.
- It may be relevant to note here that its been quite a few years since Chris has stepped foot in a library, let alone seen an actual librarian.
- I however have spent considerable amounts of time in various libraries of late.
- So I speak with some authority when I say that him calling me a hot librarian is on par with me calling him ‘the cute guy at the Star Wars convention.’