Katie S. 28

Well, if you look in the comment section of my last post you will see that my little experiment is over.  I have to admit, I didn’t really expect him to check in this quickly.  I still had a few more tricks up my sleeve.  All I will say by way of explanation is this dear husband:  “There is no charge for awesomeness!”

You are not going to believe this.  He just left work and as we were on  the phone he got into his car and finally noticed the smell.  However, he claimed that the terrible aroma must be coming from my painting clothes in his back seat!!!  Now granted they’ve been in there for at least four months now, and he’s never noticed any kind of smell before, but sure Christopher, its probably my paint clothes that are making your car smell like baby crap today!  Good night that man is a hard headed little blame shifter.  Well, actually, I guess technically he is right about WHO is to blame here….but he is WAYYYY off on the what!  Oh this is fun.

I’m kind of at a loss right now.  I put an incredibly stinky diaper in the glove box while Chris was in the shower this morning, but he didn’t say a thing about it when I talked to him at lunch time….not even when I flat out asked him how his ride in went!  So I’m thinking either he has figured out my little plan and is just refusing to engage me in this childish game, or that darn glove box is so freaking air tight that the stink had not yet escaped.  My hope is that the smell has had a chance to diffuse throughout the car while it has been baking in the warm sun today.  With any luck, when he gets in to come home it will be nice and ripe!

Since this prank has yet to work I have developed a primary and a secondary plan.  The primary plan assumes that he does come home complaining of the horribly foul smell that has somehow made its way into his vehicle….to which I intend to innocently reply, “Oh really?  Did you check the glove box to see if you left some food or something in there?”  Then when he realizes I am behind this fiendish act of trickery I will mysteriously say, “If only there was some way you could have seen this coming.”  and then I will trail off as though in deep thought.  This might seem like a dead give away that some greater plan is at work here, but I strongly doubt he will catch on because I said the same thing to him after the short sheeting and he just laughed.  I didn’t really marry him for his ability to pick up on verbal clues.  So back to the primary plan.  I intend to replace his shampoo with a mixture of cooking oil and fragrant hand lotion so that he has to go to work with greasy girly smelling hair tomorrow.  The secondary plan (which assumes that the glove box is more air tight than the dang diaper champ and he drives all the way home totally unaware the he is chauffeuring our ten month old’s fecal matter) is that I will relocate said stinky diaper to a new location where the smell might be more likely to permeate the space…like under his seat.

Either way, we are currently on day three and the man still hasn’t checked my blog, so the experiment continues.

The short sheeting was surprisingly funny.  Chris had never heard of this before and could not for the life of him figure out why he couldn’t stretch his legs out in bed.  He actually looked at me in bewilderment and said, “what am I doing wrong here!?”  I’ve decided that tomorrow I’m going to up my game and hide a dirty diaper in the glove box of his car.  There is so much junk in there that I’m guessing he will assume its something on the floor or under the seat before he even considers looking in the glove box.  Lets hope its a warm day!

OK, for tonight I think I’ll just stick to the basics.  Prepare to be short sheeted Christopher! Of course knowing me, I will forget that I did this and get into bed first, thus falling victim to my own trickery.  And yes I do realize how incredibly childish and silly this all seems, but you’ve gotta fight the winter blah’s any way you can!

I was recently shocked to discover that not all husbands neglect to read their wives blogs!  During a visit to my friend Amy’s house last weekend I actually witnessed her husband, Eric, perusing his wife’s blog.  And earlier in the week my friend Jamie’s husband actually came home early from work because of something he had read on her blog.  My husband, however, never reads my blog unless he is coerced to do so.  Which is why I have concocted a fiendish little plan in an attempt to convince him that he should want to read my innermost thoughts and feelings online on a semi-regular basis. I am of course referring to the innermost thought and feelings that I don’t already subject him to over the phone, via text message, in person and over emails throughout the week

So here my plan: Over the next few days I am going to play a series of harmless pranks on him and announce them on this blog the day before I play them.  If he does happen to read the blog then he will be wise to my trickery and most likely be able to avoid being pranked, however if he does not then the pranks will continue.  If all goes according to plan he will get in the habit of checking in on this site from time to time (kind of like Pavlov’s dog…not that I’m comparing the dear man to a dog in any other way of course).  Unfortunately I don’t know of too many pranks that wouldn’t involve extensive clean up on my part, so I need some suggestions.  If you have any particular skills in the April fools department, or have ever been the victim of a particularly spectacular prank that you would like to see someone else fall prey to, then please weigh in here!  And I’m sure this goes without saying, but please don’t tell Chris about my little experiment and force me to turn my pranking vengeance on you…I have ways you know!