And that’s the problem. I don’t like to start something until I have clearly mapped out each of the ten steps that lie ahead. But this time I just jumped. I felt like I was supposed to do something that didn’t totally make sense. I still feel like I am supposed to do this something. But I had hoped that more solutions would have solidified by now. So many things are out of my hands, and it seems I have no choice but to find peace in the not knowing.

But as I try to see the bright side of the the ‘need to’s’ going on right now, I will keep looking back on these ‘were able to’s’ and feel thankful.

Everyone, that is, but Chris.

For some reason Chris is like the jerk whisperer. People who make it their personal mission to make everyone they meet feel the full weight of their insignificance, tend to like my husband. Its like he’s just laid back and non threatening enough to get a pass. And truth be told, I think he kind of enjoys the unlikely bond that he forms with the unlikable. I think if he weren’t such a nice guy, he would probably admit that he also found his coworkers’ ideas pretty uninteresting. In fact its possible that he suffers from a bit of jerk-face envy. I suspect that every once in a while, as he is flashing that kindly disarming smile of his, he’s silently berating everyone around him. Its the only reasonable explanation for the fact that he continues to keep in contact with this individual and others like him long after their business relationship is over.

There were however a few bloopers in the midst of all our family fun. During an evening dip in the zero entry pool my poor sister was stepped on by a very large, very inebriated woman as she tumbled into about six inches of water. Drunkchunkula then had the nerve to try to assess the damage she had caused to Jacqueline’s elbow, all the while holding her cigarette high above her head so as not to get it wet in the pool. As she repeatedly tried to touch my sister’s arm, my mother kept pulling Corbin further and further away from the woman. It was at this point that she revealed through slurry words that she was a nurse… I know. If that’s not tragic irony I don’t know what is. We took a kind of sick pleasure knowing that the pain and humiliation of a fall like that probably hit her hard once her buzz wore off.

The next day I accidentally turned Gulf Shores into a topless beach when the clasp of my bando bikini top broke without warning. This might not have been quite so humiliating if not for the fact that 1) it was mid-day and the beach was at its absolute busiest, and 2) my mother and sister had just taken Bennett up to the room so  my only beach companions were my father (who quickly threw a towel around me) and my four year old son. I then had to take the long walk of shame back to the room wrapped in a towel as my father avoided eye contact and Corbin asked inappropriately loud questions about why I didn’t have my top on.

Oh well, at least we’re sure to remember this trip!

Which is a delicious crepe stuffed with grilled onions, bell peppers, artichoke hearts, black olives, pepper jack cheese, and topped with homemade salsa. Chris had the brilliant idea to make crepes because I can’t stomach anything too sweet or greasy in the morning. They were a big hit with the boys as well. Their crepes were filled with peanut butter and jelly and topped with warm syrup.

And a little of that -

This dynamic duo is currently drawing up plans for their daddy’s super hero costume. Apparently his name is going to be Killa-Watt and some sort or lethal light bulb is going to be attached to the top of his head.

Thankfully, all of his ‘metalinguistic’ progress (thinking about his language) hasn’t stopped him from using certain words completely out of context, and consequently giving us all a good laugh. One of his more commonly misused words these days is ‘recognize.’ As in,  “Bennett! Stop recognizing me!” We think he means to say antagonizing, but since he’s not exactly open to correction, its hard to be sure.

Yesterday Corbin came up with my personal favorite when he told me, “I don’t always scratch my bum mom. Its only when my underwear gets stuck up in my creek.” Noting the look of confusion on my face, he turned around, pointed to his backside and announced, “This right here is my creek!”

We’ll put sharing that little quote on the list of things he’ll hold against me when he’s older.