Katie S. 28

After three weeks of nervously waiting, I just found out that I passed my PRAXIS test. My score was much better than I had hoped for. Thank you Jesus, and holy moly I think this means I’m officially going back to school!!

You say the thing you’re supposed to say in a situation like this:

“Its just stuff.”

You offer the phrase graciously as friends and strangers traipse back and forth through your bedroom, and riffle through your belongings looking for something, anything, that might be salvaged.

Sure. Its just stuff.

But then again…

Its pictures of your grandchild’s first birthday party, stuck together in a blurry clump. Its the antique table that served countless Christmas dinners, the legs of which crumble as its lifted. And its the area rug that your children first learned to crawl on, now sopping wet and caked with mud…

Memories aren’t really just stuff, are they?

You wander around, weary from days of boxing and lifting, worrying and grieving, but there is nowhere to sit. The overstuffed sofa that you often plopped down on after a long day of work now sits on the curb, completely saturated by the murky brown water. And the mattress that you slept on every night is right beside it…

Comfort isn’t really just stuff, is it?

You watch in horror as a well meaning worker pries the front off of the drawer that holds your most personal items. And you nervously make excuses for the messy closet that, until today, was easily concealed behind a closed door. But now its out there, for all the world to see. And even though you know that everyone has these hidden places in their homes, you can’t help but feeling vulnerable and exposed…

Privacy isn’t really just stuff, is it?

And in your gut you know that these things are real and true, but you have to say it all the same. For you just as much as for them. Because you also know what is coming next. You know that you will have to figure out how to move forward, no longer tethered to this place that was everything and nothing to you at the same time.

This place that held all of the memories, the comforts, the privacy that constitute…

home.

“Its just stuff?”

My friend Kari just posted the following in the comment section of my last post:

After seeing all the TV coverage, I am very glad I live in Nashville. I have yet to hear one person complain or blame someone for this. All I have seen is countless people jumping in their boats to go rescue strangers. Now that is a community.

I have struggled to put into words the exact sentiments Kari is expressing here. I appreciate that she shared them. This was a big news week in the United States, so the Middle Tennessee flood has not gotten as much coverage as it otherwise might have.  But what is abundantly clear as we watch the footage of local guard members bravely rescuing families from their homes, of those who were not affected pouring out their time and resources to serve those who were, is that we are NOT forgotten. There is so much heartache in our world. And too often we take for granted our ‘right’ to be safe and seen. But whether or not a video camera ever pans across our flood ravaged community, God’s gaze is fixed upon us. He sees our suffering, and he wants to heal our wounds.

Its hard to process an event like a flood. It seems to be human nature to first focus on the micro issues, and then start to take in the issue on the whole. Our personal perception has gone like this:

The Harpeth River flooded so rapidly and so heavily, that much of Bellevue and Franklin was overtaken by water. We live in Franklin and our families live in Bellevue.  Many neighborhoods around us were flooded.  The water destroyed yards and homes and knocked out power. Our house stayed dry and our power never so much as flickered.

Much of my parents’ neighborhood, which backs up onto the Harpeth, was devastated by the flood.  Many homes suffered massive damage and at one point my parents witnessed some neighborhood children swimming in the street. Their entire backyard was consumed by rushing water, but it stopped mere feet from their back door and never actually came into their home.

This is the view of my parents’ backyard yesterday morning after the water had already receded about 20 feet. The structure in the picture is an arbor that is between 7-8 feet high. In this picture at least 2/3 of the yard is still completely under water. When the rain was still coming down only the top of the arbor could be seen. As we stood their taking these pictures yesterday a play structure floated by and then later a man in a canoe paddled through the back yard.

On Sunday night we watched anxiously as the local news covered the evacuation of Chris’ parent’s street.  I-4o completely flooded near Bellevue and most of the surrounding neighborhoods were under water. As we watched countless people from his subdivision climb out of rescue boats, we were unable to get in contact with his family. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his mother called us back to let us know that they were OK. Their house was somehow not under water, and they had spent the afternoon helping to evacuate their neighbors with a canoe.

This road is the only way to access my in-law’s street and their subdivision sits a mile or so back. The area that you see completely covered with water is a soccer complex.

The entrance to Chris’ grandmother’s street was flooded almost up to the traffic lights yesterday morning. Thankfully she lives at the top of the hill though, so the water never reached her home.

The downtown Nashville area where my sister works is completely closed down due to overflow from the Cumberland River.  Because the surrounding rivers feed into the Cumberland, it continued to rise long after the rain had stopped.  They are now predicting that the downtown riverfront area will not reopen for at least 2-3 weeks.

The Opryland hotel was under around 6 feet of water yesterday morning, and the entire Opry Mills area is closed due to the flood.

Countless people have lost their vehicles, thousands were temporarily displaced from their homes, tens of thousands were without power, and very few people have flood insurance. To makes matters worse, many businesses have been destroyed meaning that jobs have also been lost.

I still don’t know what to make of the situation in my city. I am endlessly thankful for the safety of my loved ones, of their homes. I am heartbroken for the suffering of so many others. Its important to remember to turn off the television every once in awhile, and give thanks for the blessing that we can see and touch around us.

As each new piece of news comes in, be it devastating or miraculous, I am reminded of these verses: Psalm 27:13-14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Please pray for the people in our city.

We’re currently on day two of historically heavy rains. Nashville and the surrounding areas are flooding quickly. So far our house is OK, but every major road out of Franklin is closed. My parents house, which backs up to the Little Harpeth River is in danger. Their back yard is under about 6 feet of water and their neighbor’s play structure has been swept away.  The last time I talked to them they were moving pictures and electronics out of their basement. But still, they are better off than many. Countless homes have been flooded, more still are without power, and at least 8 people have lost their lives. Its frustrating to know that so many people around us are in need and we cannot get to them.

But we’re doing what we can. We’re praying for everyone who is being affected by this.  We’re trusting that God is sovereign. And we’re busying ourselves with pointless tasks to occupy our nervous minds.

I just finished taking my Praxis 0146 Middle School Comprehensive exam and my brain is FRIED!

Of course the fact that I have been preparing for this test for several months now isn’t something that I have shared on this blog before today. I have to pass the test in order to qualify as a degree seeking student in the Master of Arts in Teaching Special Education program that I’ve been accepted to. The cohort group that I am scheduled to be a part of starts in June, and I won’t find out the results of today’s test until mid May.  That puts a significant amount of weight on whether I passed or failed, which speaks directly to the fact that I am just now sharing this major life development with you.

You see I, like many others, am terrified of failure.  And I am extra special, super duper terrified of public failure.  So my thinking went, ‘If I don’t tell anyone I’m taking the test then no one will have to know if I fail.’  But now that the test is over, I think its time to take the risk and let it all go, you know? Nothing ventured nothing gained, and all that nonsense.

I hope I passed.  But if I didn’t, I want this badly enough that I’ll just swallow my pride and try again. A very wise friend of mine recently wrote that being called to do something doesn’t necessarily mean you will be the best at it. Its not about me proving my intelligence but rather being willing to put in the work that is required in order to get to the place I believe I am supposed to be. And trust.  Its about a LOT of trust.

My sister is the bar manager of a popular downtown night club. She recently started a blog so that she can share some of her stories.  (think my Bottom of the Barrel series with liquor involved). Her first story is about overweight girls dancing on bars and includes the phrase, “what goes up (drunk), must come down (hard).”

Its not necessarily for the faint of heart, but it sure is funny.

You can check her out at jaq.eleven33.com.

Some dear friends of ours  are pursuing their second special needs adoption. They first met the young man they are planning to adopt when they visited the Chinese foster home where their son was living. Being  the older brother of the home, this boy was very instrumental in helping his ‘younger brother’ become comfortable with his adoptive parents. Soon after they got home from China with their son, God confirmed in their hearts that they had a role to play in the life of  ‘older brother’.  At first they thought they were supposed to help this boy find a family, but what God has revealed to them over the past year is that they ARE this boy’s family. He is 8 years old and has been in  a wheel chair for most of his life.

Our friends are a humbling example of how God is so faithful to equip the called.  To quote them, “We were a childless couple for 15 years until we became blessed with our son through the miracle of Special Needs adoption. Little did we know that the special needs were ours…and not our childrens’.”

This Saturday my family and I are taking part in a walk called “Room for More” to raise money for this adoption. International adoption can be pretty expensive and adjustments to make their home wheel chair accessible will need to be made.  If you would like to hear more of their story in their own words, please click HERE. The mama is an amazing writer and artist who speaks of her children, herself and her God in a way that brings me to tears of laughter and conviction every time I read her BLOG.  And if you have any interest in helping this sweet family bring their son home, please either let me know or follow THIS link and click on the paypal button on the upper right hand side of the page.